He texted me
“She doesn’t look fine. Macam miserable je”
Instantenously I knew to whom he referred to, texted her directly.
“hey love, awak okay?”
she insisted on being strong. I might be no good at words.
Takpe lah tolong mana boleh.
It hurts, to know the hope you have in him is always
ridiculous. He will always care for Insyirah, and only take you as his
bestfriend. Tapi apa lah sgt, berbanding apa yg In sendiri tgh lalui.
So I update him back what I've talk to In.
He looks worried. Sayang kan namanya.
Tapi itu lah apa yg In tgh lalui pun. Sakit.
Dan bila aku tahu sebenarnya dia tahu In tak okay dpd blog,
I went through In’s blog.
Allahu, beratnya ujian perasaan.
Apa lah sangat apa yg aku rasa ni kan.
Aku slalu mcm ni, ujian sikit2 je. Over yg lebih.
Ujian sikit pn tak mampu handle
He then said “sorry ckp kat kau ni” dan aku reply mcm biasa,
“lol, ok je”
Sebab that’s ok should be real okay. Lek ah AJ.
We both need to pray for In isn’t it.
Aku nak doa jodoh kau dgn In. You got her on yr back and she
got you on her back. How lovely that is.
Cuma kau kena sabar sket la nk tggu In ok dpd semua ni.
I hope you will be that patient.
Moga allah tetapkan kau untuk dia. Dan dia untuk kau.
You both suit each other.
Betullah permepuan yang baik itu untuk lelaki yang baik.
Bet everyone and Allah know that I never meant for you and
never good enough for you.
“Perempuan yang jahat untuk lelaki yang jahat dan lelaki yang jahat untuk perempuan yang jahat, perempuan yang baik untuk lelaki yang baik dan lelaki yang baik untuk perempuan yang baik.” (an-Nur':26)
I send the screenshots.
With that, I hope I send all the hopes away too.
Aku sentiasa berdoa moga dijauhkan perasaan ni Am, but I
think maybe I just a little bit more time.
AJ, be patient with your own heart, okay?
Kejap je lagi ok la ni.
Oh yes.
I text my beloved kak D, asked about result final medic.
And she didn’t passed.
Another big trial from Him.
Then I realised, how big trials fall on these two lovely
akhawats
And I’ve been knowing them for those who really close to Him
and put all efforts in Dakwah dan Tarbiyyah.
“Makin kuat Allah sayangkan hambaNya, makin hebatlah
dugaanNya”
Dan aku termenung,
“Kau ni AJ. Ujian simple pn tak setel. Dh boleh bajet la kan
betapa jauhnya kau dgn tuhan. Dan betapa kurangnya kau beramal!”
