“The feeling is the direct result of the thoughts” – Prof
Finian
His words make the whole sense of why people
are feeling so and so.
Ahaa. AJ terus teringat segala benda yg dia ‘rasa’ few
months ago.
A girl who thought that her bestfriend was giving chance for
her to be more than a bestfriend – which eventually make her start to build the
hope.
A girl who was always believe that people who don’t work
hard to find mutarabbi and build them to be a murobbi is not doing dakwah.
A girl who always think that her housemates should be as
perfect as girls should be.
And with just all these 3, AJ memanjang cari masa petang dia
untuk tidur dan skip kelas.
Sebab stress sgt, and she had no one really to talk about.
As everyone is busy with their life sampai dia rasa, naa takkan ada org yg dia
boleh bercakap dengan.
Ye lah, dah bila AI tak reply ka busy ka, dia pun kecewa
haha. Pstu dh takut nk cerita lg sbb takut nnti expect lebih2 lagi.
Dah bestfriend dia lg sorang dh kena jaga batas plak utk tak
asyik contact.
Housemates and akhawat plak dia rasa takdak yg faham atau sama wavelength.
Haha. End up dia simpan je. And tidur.
Pastu bila dh okay, she continues living like
nothing ever happened.
Ngeng.
.
.
.
“People feel differently as we have different belief” Prof
Finian continued.
Entah lah. Mungkin sebenarnya, yg masalah pada waktu itu
adalah imannya.
Her belief – which makes her feel that way.
Sama ada imannya yg tak mampu memberinya jawapan bahawa semua orang sedang berusaha sedaya upaya mereka dan pasti mereka lebih baik di mata Allah.
atau
Imannya tidak mampu untuk menjadikan ia sibuk dengan tujuan hidupnya sbg khalifah dan hamba - without looking at others.
Belum masuk part dia rasa semua org akhirnya kecewakan dia. Lol
And to be honest, AJ is still wondering how to solve her
trust issue.
Because yeah, no one can ever be with you entire life. And
no one can give full attention to her and fulfill her expectation.
Is it fine, to just have all the thoughts within, and talk
about it to our Lord?
Or it is just another way to escape?
